Gobble Glitch

August 17th, 2026

Brief: this journal entry, and also the time medically and socially required to listen to Gobble Glitch (Blackgrass Glitch Mix) by Backwoodz808. Our lovely correspondent, Noah Meyers-Richter, put me on to this song, a dissemination that could potentially have serious ramifications for our friendship, considering how painful this song is. I’m not quite sure what to tell you here, whether to listen to the song before reading this, during it, after, or not at all, if you want to walk this Earth in peace and radiant joy.

The best description I’ve heard of this song is that it’s vape shop music, and it’s true. If Nirvana is a cigar, and The Strokes are cigarettes, then Gobble Glitch by Backwoods808 is a discarded $10 AirBar behind an illegal brothel, caked in formaldehyde and with a battery primed to catch on fire, which with one toke with bubble through your lung’s alveoli and create a mustard gas reaction. Think I’m being hyperbolic? Go ahead, try to listen to it. It’s bastardized trap, infused with the worst of modern country, with trumpet interludes that seem to mock you for listening to the song in the first place.

For context, Noah had this song play randomly on a Spotify playlist (which I’ll have to have a sit down talk with him about what filthy, disease-ridden corners of Spotify he has descended down into to dredge up this Eldritch horror) while he was working at Bain consulting, frantically trying to finish a presentation. I like to imagine the sweat running down his brow, his supervisor approaching slowly to his desk with the intent of suspending him if he hasn’t completed his work, and at just this precise moment of sheer aortic terror, Gobble Glitch begins to play. His eyes roll up into his head. He pops 4 Zyns in his mouth. His head, now with a Bass Pro hat on, begins to bob up and down. A tear trickles down his cheek. The Gobble Glitch has begun.

The Youtube comment section for this thing is so incredibly niche and adversarial to the artist, that I began to have some faith in humanity again after a brutal 6 days of despair. Most of the comments say “Look who decided to show up” or “Night shift is here guys”, possibly evoking those conservative country guys who work in retail, and make the same cliched remarks toward younger employees. They drive rusted F-150s with holes in them, lost everything after the divorce, and rip pre-workout on the regular.

Amongst my favorite lyrics: “He hit the limb (Boom), double gobble reply”, “Gli-gli-gli-gli-glitch in the woods, hear the gobble distort”, and “Backwoodz808, y-yeah, we dominate."

My lowest moment with this song: sitting in the apartment with Finley, having done nothing all day, with this song on infinite Spotify repeat. Supine on the couch, Fortnite on screen, driving a hamster ball and flying up through an airstream. I won the game, but lost everything else that you could possibly imagine.

Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9Jz3ESNzxI&list=RDf9Jz3ESNzxI&start_radio=1